I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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