i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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