So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
jump out the window naked night went bad
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
