Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
