youre lurking in front of me
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
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