yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
