Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
