I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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