It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
