The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
