yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
