At least make sure they are 18
Why
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
