Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
