There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
