final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I want a musical about memes.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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