That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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