Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
