I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Mom said you looked used
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
