when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
