you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
