i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
