Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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