wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
