is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Randomize
