it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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