Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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