Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
