He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
How does it feel to date your dad?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
