Buhtt sex?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
