she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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