you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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