I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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