u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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