he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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