I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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