did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
