he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
