My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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