For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
