I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
