did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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