Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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