You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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