pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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