High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
