Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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