She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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