Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
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