There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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