i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
