I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
