It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
