Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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